friends, ailments, paint and a DVR remote

Often while away from home and computer - whether out on a walk, running errands etc - I think of great things to write about. Then when I get home my regular routine and tasks take over and I forget about that insightful, witty or otherwise interesting thing I want to write about. Not this time though! The house is quiet, enough candles are burning to light a small village, the fire is light, the wine is open, the relaxing music is on. What better environment to blog.

I think of this blog as a journal. I'm not exactly sure who reads it, or if anyone does at all. I sometimes feel I should edit my thoughts to make sure not to offend or hurt any one's feelings. If I really had any deep dark secrets or things that should be kept private AND I felt the need to write them down, I should do so in a journal for my eyes only, not in a public blog. My life isn't that interesting though that I have any secrets. I wish it was. I often think an exotic exciting life sounds intriguing. Rather than the simple life I live in Pullman, WA.

A lot of happened since I last blogged (over a month ago - yikes!). My mother-in-law fell and shattered her femur, she is now in a nursing home recovering after having major surgery to repair it. Still in a wheelchair and we all hopeful she will walk again. My grandmother is doing ok, but at 93 things start to fall apart. Aside from COPD, an abdominal aortic aneurysm, congestive heart failure and diabetes, she has broken her tooth...AGAIN. She is so worried about how she looks with this broken tooth. Honestly though, I don't notice it. Yes, if she were to smile like a clown with her mouth stretched wide open you could see the space on the side where it broke. But in everyday conversation it's not noticeable. I bring this up because she complains about money and how expensive everything is and how expensive it will be to fix. I suggested that she then do nothing. It doesn't hurt her as the root is still in intact and the dentist has said it could just remain as is if she desired. But she said "oh no, I'd look like a bag lady". I hate to break it to her, but she's 93 and I doubt anyone is going to make that kind of judgement about her based on a broken tooth. It's interesting how she is still very concerned with her appearance. I am glad that she likes to look nice, but she comments about others and thinks that they obviously don't care about themselves if they are wearing sweats or don't have a 'full face' of make up on. I've come to realize that she is the one insecure and is projecting her thoughts problems on others. I don't wear a lot of make up and I'm OK with that! I wear eyeliner, mascara, blush and lip gloss. I don't do the full eye shadow, foundation, concealer, lipstick, liner - it's not my style. Does that mean I don't care about myself? Heck no. I do care about myself, and I think I nice. My idea of nice is just not my grandmothers idea of nice. My mom also has this obsession with clothes and appearance. I think she always looks put together but that's a choice she makes - to spend 2 hours every day getting ready and ironing her shirts and putting on panty hose. Heck, I haven't worn clothes that required ironing in years. Nor do I plan to. I am more comfortable in relaxed clothing. Starch is not my friend. But for someone to make the assumption that I don't care about my appearance or that I am lazy is just plain crazy. I don't judge others on what they wear, why should someone judge me by what I wear. My clothes are clean, I am comfortable and they even match. :) Seriously though, I guess I just don't put value or emphasis or looking like I'm dining with the president every day of my life. It's just not important to me. Many of my friends have a similar mindset. And then someone once told me "I came in to the world without make up so why should I wear it now?" I find that interesting, because it's really true. Why do we wear makeup? I do wear some, just not a "full face" as my grandmother would say. I have a lot of confidence in myself and I don't need bright colored lips or eye shadow up to my eyebrows to validate me or make me feel important. If I choose to get dressed up and do a 'full face', well that's my choice. I just don't let it define who I am.

On to more things that have happened in the past month. I found out my dear friend has multiple sclerosis. She is in her early 50's, I am worried for her and I need to find out more about MS. My other friends father had a stroke and is almost like a vegetable and in a care facility back in Wisconsin. Another friend is coping with her mother's Alzheimer's disease. Then another friend had an older family member pass away and her father had a mini-stroke. Another friend is back to work full time while her husband is laid off. Then another friend is spending every weekend with her mother and father in Spokane helping them with things they are too tired to do. Her mother has liver cancer. Just 19 years ago we were all getting together with our little babies, talking about mother-hood, husbands, babies...basically just living our lives and feeling so confident about where we are headed. Yes, we had concerns and parenting whoas, but nothing like what we are all facing now. We are just sandwiched in the middle. We take care of aging parents, have our own health issues and worry about our kids in college, finances, retirement. None of use are immune. Thankfully we have each other for support and friendship.

Just last night I went to a Silpada Jewelry party. It was a nice break from the diversion of my everyday life of work, bills, cleaning, ill family etc. It was 2 hours of women, wine and friendship. Not to mention beautiful jewelry. I only ordered a pair of earrings for $29 though. I liked all the jewelry, but I couldn't decide which other necklace or bracelet to choose from. There were too many choices! I made a wish list though and when a friend is having her party in early December I will probably buy a pretty bracelet. Stuff is kind of pricey though and I only have 2 ears, 2 neck and 2 wrists so how much jewelry do I really need?

I am worried about my oldest daughter. She is anemic and has just started iron therapy. I really hope it helps, but it takes a couple of months to begin to see improvement. She's been so tired, always cold and basically 'blah'. Blood work verified her low serum ferritin levels and I am hopeful the iron therapy will work. She hates needles with a passion and the thought of a blood transfusion doesn't sit well with her. I hope it doesn't come to that.

I am in the midst of painting my home office. I picked the color sawdust by Sherwin Williams. It's really pretty. A good friend painted her bedroom this color and it looks like a muted sage green/taupe color. I would never have thought to pick it from the color chip, but seeing a whole room done inspired me. It has a LRV of 26 and I have the main wall painted and I'm so pleased!

On another note, I am still looking for the remote to the DVR. It's really annoying because I had it my hand on Monday evening, the phone rang, I went to the bathroom and then unloaded the dishwasher. I get back to my TV show and the remote is no where to be found. I was the only one home at the time and since the remote doesn't have legs, it should be here. But where? It pisses me off, but it's now Friday and I still can't find the darn thing. Which means the DVR still works, but all functions need to be directly on the DVR. And it's a pain in the ass to get up and fast forward through commercials on the unit itself that I have to sit through all the commercials. It's as though the stupid remote just vanished. I hope it's in a really good hiding spot, otherwise I will be so annoyed when I do find it!

Tomorrow is a sleep in day. Then I'll get on the exercise bike and then a football tailgate party. Then it's home to finish painting the home office wall. Will clean out youngest kids room and do some vacuuming. I'm really looking forward to a fun productive day!