so much to be thankful for - things could have been so very different

It's 9 am on Thanksgiving morning and only 3 of us are up so far.  It's a slow, quiet morning and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Not today anyway.  I look out the window at the snow and I marvel at it's beauty, it blankets the streets, the houses, the trees.  I am cozy and warm inside with my cup of coffee.  My children are sleeping upstairs enjoying their break from college.  And they are safe and warm and home.   I could have woken up to an entirely different situation, one that lacked peace and serenity and contentment if yesterday didn't have a happy ending.

As I type this I am looking at the pictures of my children on my desk and I can't stop crying.

Yesterday, I got a phone call around noon that every parent dreads.  My daughters were in an accident.  They were driving on 1-90 and approx 10 miles W of Vantage when they hit black ice, spun around several times and hit a semi and ended up next to a guard rail at the edge of a steep drop off of several hundred feet.   My daughter calls me and between gasps of breaths and tears she says "we are okay".  There were 5 in the car and temperatures were around 8 degrees and she is 200 miles from home.  They are cold and scared. I tell her to call 911 and AAA.  Though I am not cold, I am scared.   She has a great car and very good tires and chains, so worrying about the 'whys' of the accident at this point are irrelevant.  I just wanted them home.


I call Jim and he was heading home.  As the car was not drivable we were going to have to go get them, but it would still be another 4 - 5 hours for us to get there.  Washington was hit with a bad storm over the past week and the snow, ice and cold temps have made a mess of things.  They were planning on having the car towed to Ellensburg and then wait at a warm restaurant for us to get them.  Just before leaving I made a facebook post about the accident and that we were heading out to get them and say some prayers to keep them warm/safe and get them home.  A friend saw it and called her husband who she knew was travelling back from Seattle.  She had no idea where the accident was or where her husband was at the time.  But she said be on the lookout.  About 20 minutes later her husband and his 3 friends see them and stop.  At this point it had been about 30 minutes from the accident and no one had stopped to offer assistance.  A cop had stopped to take their info and search for the semi that didn't stick around.  But he was not there long.  Poor kids were scared and cold.  They were grateful that a big SUV (with people they knew) finally stopped and waited for another 30 minutes for the AAA tow truck to come.  Michael (the owner of the car dealership where we bought the car and our neighbor too) called me and said "I'm with your daughters, they are ok, we'll stay with them".  I was so relieved, I knew they were in good hands. He gave specific instructions to the AAA tow driver on where to take the car (his friends dealership in Ellensburg where it would be safe).  Then they piled all 5 kids and their stuff into the big Ford Excursion and continued on to Spokane where we met them.

We gave the girls a big hug and told them how grateful we were that they were okay.  Kristin was so worried about the car and the problems this has caused etc.  I told her things are replaceable, people aren't.  When we got home I think the realization of what could have happened hit her.  She was upset and agitated.  She took some ibuprofen and went to bed early.  And she is still asleep.  Her sister is too.  They are both alive and well, tucked in their beds.  And I couldn't ask for more.

I am so grateful for family, friends, neighbors and facebook.  Yes, facebook.  It shows the power of instant communication.  If I hadn't made that post, the kids would have still been ok.  But they would have waited alone for an hour for the tow truck then 4 hours at a restaurant for us to get there.  And in 8 degrees it's not fun at all.

My son rocked at being the command center operator, thank you Jake.  My dad rocked at preparing the meal for our arrival home, thank you Dad!  My mom and grandmother rocked for saying prayers and thinking good thoughts, thank you Mom and Nanny!  The "bro-tastic 4" rocked for stopping, helping and bringing the kids from Ellensburg to Spokane (200 miles) and providing them with snacks, jokes and a warm car, thank you Mike, Michael, Duane and Mark.  Terri rocked for calling her husband Duane and saying 'be on the lookout for the DeVleming kids', thank you Terri.

And Kristin rocked for doing her best to stay calm and in control during and after the accident.  Her car companions said she handled it well, thank you Kristin!  And Sarah rocked for being Kristin's support after the accident, hugging her and loving her, thank you Sarah!  I love you both!  And Jake too.  So proud to be your mother!

And thank you God, for watching over them and keeping them safe.

There is so much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving and always.

what has happened to gratitude?

I am frustrated by the general lack of gratitude these days. Why can't people be grateful for the kindness of others, things done for them, given to them and acknowledge it? Sometimes a simple 'thank you' is all it takes. Is it because people feel they are entitled to these things and therefore acknowledgment is unnecessary? This line of thinking perplexes me.

I was raised that you say 'thank you' to those that have done something for you or given you something. Saying thank you engenders good feeling and mutual respect. I think it's like a slap in the face when kindness and/or generosity has been bestowed upon someone else and no gratitude is expressed. In situations like this it makes me question why I did something in the first place. I do not expect someone to reciprocate in the same way I do (not everyone has the same financial means, values and morals) however a 'thank you' is universal and is recognition that you appreciated what was given/done to you.

Maybe I shouldn't do nice things anymore for people. I like giving and I like doing nice things but for people to assume I will do these things for all time to come and that they are entitled to these things is sad. It makes me not want to do nice things anymore. I am grateful that I have time and money to do nice things for people, perhaps it's time I focus my gifts on a different set of people and organizations, focus them on people that appreciate them.

Here is one example from the home front. I recently purchased a family member a new cell phone. There were some problems with the ordering and delivery of it, so it took multiple phone calls and trips to the store. I spent 2 extra hours dealing with it and all I got was snappy responses in the car ride to Moscow. No thank you, no expression of gratitude....why? I have always expected my children to write or say thank you's where appropriate. How come with family members it's different? Do they think because they are family a thank you isn't necessary? My time is valuable, I didn't want to make an extra trip to Moscow to resolve the phone issue, but I did. Next time I probably won't. I am not going to let people take advantage of me and abuse my generosity. This is only one example...there are others. I'm frustrated by all this, can you tell? Oh, by the way...it's never to late to say Thank You.

"Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing."

~ Zig Ziglar