Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
what has happened to gratitude?
I am frustrated by the general lack of gratitude these days. Why can't people be grateful for the kindness of others, things done for them, given to them and acknowledge it? Sometimes a simple 'thank you' is all it takes. Is it because people feel they are entitled to these things and therefore acknowledgment is unnecessary? This line of thinking perplexes me.
I was raised that you say 'thank you' to those that have done something for you or given you something. Saying thank you engenders good feeling and mutual respect. I think it's like a slap in the face when kindness and/or generosity has been bestowed upon someone else and no gratitude is expressed. In situations like this it makes me question why I did something in the first place. I do not expect someone to reciprocate in the same way I do (not everyone has the same financial means, values and morals) however a 'thank you' is universal and is recognition that you appreciated what was given/done to you.
Maybe I shouldn't do nice things anymore for people. I like giving and I like doing nice things but for people to assume I will do these things for all time to come and that they are entitled to these things is sad. It makes me not want to do nice things anymore. I am grateful that I have time and money to do nice things for people, perhaps it's time I focus my gifts on a different set of people and organizations, focus them on people that appreciate them.
Here is one example from the home front. I recently purchased a family member a new cell phone. There were some problems with the ordering and delivery of it, so it took multiple phone calls and trips to the store. I spent 2 extra hours dealing with it and all I got was snappy responses in the car ride to Moscow. No thank you, no expression of gratitude....why? I have always expected my children to write or say thank you's where appropriate. How come with family members it's different? Do they think because they are family a thank you isn't necessary? My time is valuable, I didn't want to make an extra trip to Moscow to resolve the phone issue, but I did. Next time I probably won't. I am not going to let people take advantage of me and abuse my generosity. This is only one example...there are others. I'm frustrated by all this, can you tell? Oh, by the way...it's never to late to say Thank You.
I was raised that you say 'thank you' to those that have done something for you or given you something. Saying thank you engenders good feeling and mutual respect. I think it's like a slap in the face when kindness and/or generosity has been bestowed upon someone else and no gratitude is expressed. In situations like this it makes me question why I did something in the first place. I do not expect someone to reciprocate in the same way I do (not everyone has the same financial means, values and morals) however a 'thank you' is universal and is recognition that you appreciated what was given/done to you.
Maybe I shouldn't do nice things anymore for people. I like giving and I like doing nice things but for people to assume I will do these things for all time to come and that they are entitled to these things is sad. It makes me not want to do nice things anymore. I am grateful that I have time and money to do nice things for people, perhaps it's time I focus my gifts on a different set of people and organizations, focus them on people that appreciate them.
Here is one example from the home front. I recently purchased a family member a new cell phone. There were some problems with the ordering and delivery of it, so it took multiple phone calls and trips to the store. I spent 2 extra hours dealing with it and all I got was snappy responses in the car ride to Moscow. No thank you, no expression of gratitude....why? I have always expected my children to write or say thank you's where appropriate. How come with family members it's different? Do they think because they are family a thank you isn't necessary? My time is valuable, I didn't want to make an extra trip to Moscow to resolve the phone issue, but I did. Next time I probably won't. I am not going to let people take advantage of me and abuse my generosity. This is only one example...there are others. I'm frustrated by all this, can you tell? Oh, by the way...it's never to late to say Thank You.
"Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing."
Monday, July 21, 2008
music
I've been listening to music all morning while working and I just love Dar Williams. It's relaxing, feel good music. I think she's probably billed as a folk singer but has some pop style tunes. Closer to Me has to be one of the best songs ever. I am about to get a new iPhone 3G (it's on backorder right now) and since I have more than 16GB of music I will need to make a playlist for my iPhone. Dar Williams, Simon & Garfunkle, James Blunt, Vivaldi and Maroon 5 will make the cut for sure. Perhaps Dixie Chicks and She Daisy too.... It's amazing how music can effect your mood! And right now...Dar Williams has got me in a happy space. :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
my birthday
I had a really nice birthday. Kristin made me a delicious chocolate cake and we had a very nice evening. The gifts they got me were very special. They had picked up various gifts in different cities we had visited on our trip. They were each individually wrapped in Christmas paper. It had been a relaxing day for me, Jake and Kristin each worked as did Jim. We had a very late dinner due to work schedules but it was very, very enjoyable. Grilled hamburgers, chocolate cake, reminiscing about the trip and being surrounded the best people in the entire world...who could ask for more?!?!
I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Betsy, Bri brought over a lovely bouquet of flowers as well. Kathy and Becca made chocolate mousse which we ate outside with real napkins and silverware at starbucks...it was so much fun. I got numerous cards and phone calls from friends. It's nice to know that others remembered and thought enough of me to wish me well on my birthday. I had a great phone conversation with my mom and my sister. The whole day felt like I was wrapped up in a giant blanket of love. I am blessed to be part of a great family and I love everyone in it with all my heart.
I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Betsy, Bri brought over a lovely bouquet of flowers as well. Kathy and Becca made chocolate mousse which we ate outside with real napkins and silverware at starbucks...it was so much fun. I got numerous cards and phone calls from friends. It's nice to know that others remembered and thought enough of me to wish me well on my birthday. I had a great phone conversation with my mom and my sister. The whole day felt like I was wrapped up in a giant blanket of love. I am blessed to be part of a great family and I love everyone in it with all my heart.
We make a good team
I love my husband. He is a good father and a good man. We've had a lot of ups and downs but we've weathered them and become stronger through the process. We are a team in our marriage and in raising our children. We are team together through life. We haven't had magical sparks in a long time, but that's not what love is. We probably all define love differently but in a way that suits our particular needs. To me love is such a deep care and concern for the other persons well being. I can tell my husband anything. I probably share more with my sister than my husband, not out of disrespect but because my sister is another female and she 'gets me'. My husband loves me but he doesn't always 'get me'. I'm alright with that because I know he cares and it's the little things he does that shows his depth of love. He does a lot of big things too, like providing for the family, being encouraging and supportive of our kids' endeavors. But the little things, sweet and tender that make my heart melt. He rubs my feet and night, rubs my lower back when it aches, he makes me coffee (even though he doesn't drink it) in the morning, he makes me breakfast on the weekends... but best of all, he lets me be who I am and doesn't dictate my thoughts, beliefs and desires.
He is very politically minded, something which doesn't interest me. But it's something he enjoys and he is actively involved at various levels in our local community and his optometric profession. Love is letting the other person pursue his interests and dreams. We have different hobbies, different passions but we've made a choice to make it work. There is great satisfaction is making it work. His idea of humor (among many other things) is very different from mine, but I truly believe if we thought and acted the same it would be boring. Thankfully we are mature enough to know this and be supportive of each other...like the vows we made almost 22 years ago....I promise to love you through good times and bad....we were very young, but we stuck by each other and there is much comfort in that, much joy, respect and out of that is a deepening love each day for the other person.
We support each other through life and to me that's the best definition of love. Because actions speak louder than words. We make a good team and although the sparks and passion on a day to day basis are not always there, that's okay...there is a deep respect and care for each other that makes life all the better.
He is very politically minded, something which doesn't interest me. But it's something he enjoys and he is actively involved at various levels in our local community and his optometric profession. Love is letting the other person pursue his interests and dreams. We have different hobbies, different passions but we've made a choice to make it work. There is great satisfaction is making it work. His idea of humor (among many other things) is very different from mine, but I truly believe if we thought and acted the same it would be boring. Thankfully we are mature enough to know this and be supportive of each other...like the vows we made almost 22 years ago....I promise to love you through good times and bad....we were very young, but we stuck by each other and there is much comfort in that, much joy, respect and out of that is a deepening love each day for the other person.
We support each other through life and to me that's the best definition of love. Because actions speak louder than words. We make a good team and although the sparks and passion on a day to day basis are not always there, that's okay...there is a deep respect and care for each other that makes life all the better.
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