The past few weeks have been somewhat hectic around our house. Jake is getting ready to head off to college, actually I should say "thinking" about getting ready to head off to college. He is able to officially move in on Sunday 8/17. He WILL NOT BE READY and I WORRY!
When we were at the lake at the end of July we had a good (at least at the time I thought it was good) talk with Jake about what he needed to do to get ready/organized for college. He had some lists, some prepare for college guidebooks so we thought he was going to take charge and get things done. He told us he handled everything and asked if he could go to his girlfriends cabin for the rest of the week. I should have realized he couldn't have possibly done all his planning and organizing in 1 1/2 days. But being the nice mother I am, I took his word for it and he dashed off to be with his girlfriend. He comes home to work one day, fiddle with his new computer and then goes back up to her cabin for 3 more days. Other than folding and refolding a few of his t-shirts, he has done nothing by this point. I WONDER what is he thinking?
On Tuesday night we had a good discussion (or so I thought) about getting organized, packed and ready for college. Wednesday started off well, with Jake and I spending almost 5 hours together...bank (new account), Wal-Mart (supplies), Staples (supplies), Bed Bath & Beyond (more stuff), WSU Fiscal Services (tuition information/website help), Crimson & Grey (books), Bookie (more books), CUB (activate Cougar Card).....if I hadn't insisted we do this stuff...would it have EVER gotten done? Yes, I could have taken the tough love approach and said "you are now an adult...you do this on your own or pay the consequences", but I would rather help him, empower him and help guide him with what needs to be done. But it's as frustrating as hell, because I thought he got this message the first time we talked about things 3 weeks ago. Does he not give a damn?
So, now I guess I just have to WAIT and see if he will learn from this and how he will handle things in the future. We will take him to the dorm on Sunday morning so he can pick out his bed and assess the room for space as to what else he will need/not need (aside from typical college stuff that he will hopefully pack). He works on Sunday afternoon and on Monday morning we'll move him in.
The drawback of living so close to campus is that he will undoubtedly call for me to bring him something that he forgot. I will do so, however, not at his convenience, but at mine. He needs to learn to be better organized and accountable. He is 18 after all.
Yes, this is a bit of a rant, but it's how I feel now. I am tired of the procrastination and laziness. Someone recently told me it's because 'he is a guy'...that's total crap. I'm not going to rationalize this type of behavior based on one's gender.
Oh well. He will learn, perhaps the hard way. I have given him the tools the past 18 years and I know he's a good kid and CAN DO WELL and SUCCEED...but he has to make the choice to do so.
Once he gets settled in his dorm, I will most likely wonder and worry if he'll even set his alarm for class....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
what has happened to gratitude?
I am frustrated by the general lack of gratitude these days. Why can't people be grateful for the kindness of others, things done for them, given to them and acknowledge it? Sometimes a simple 'thank you' is all it takes. Is it because people feel they are entitled to these things and therefore acknowledgment is unnecessary? This line of thinking perplexes me.
I was raised that you say 'thank you' to those that have done something for you or given you something. Saying thank you engenders good feeling and mutual respect. I think it's like a slap in the face when kindness and/or generosity has been bestowed upon someone else and no gratitude is expressed. In situations like this it makes me question why I did something in the first place. I do not expect someone to reciprocate in the same way I do (not everyone has the same financial means, values and morals) however a 'thank you' is universal and is recognition that you appreciated what was given/done to you.
Maybe I shouldn't do nice things anymore for people. I like giving and I like doing nice things but for people to assume I will do these things for all time to come and that they are entitled to these things is sad. It makes me not want to do nice things anymore. I am grateful that I have time and money to do nice things for people, perhaps it's time I focus my gifts on a different set of people and organizations, focus them on people that appreciate them.
Here is one example from the home front. I recently purchased a family member a new cell phone. There were some problems with the ordering and delivery of it, so it took multiple phone calls and trips to the store. I spent 2 extra hours dealing with it and all I got was snappy responses in the car ride to Moscow. No thank you, no expression of gratitude....why? I have always expected my children to write or say thank you's where appropriate. How come with family members it's different? Do they think because they are family a thank you isn't necessary? My time is valuable, I didn't want to make an extra trip to Moscow to resolve the phone issue, but I did. Next time I probably won't. I am not going to let people take advantage of me and abuse my generosity. This is only one example...there are others. I'm frustrated by all this, can you tell? Oh, by the way...it's never to late to say Thank You.
I was raised that you say 'thank you' to those that have done something for you or given you something. Saying thank you engenders good feeling and mutual respect. I think it's like a slap in the face when kindness and/or generosity has been bestowed upon someone else and no gratitude is expressed. In situations like this it makes me question why I did something in the first place. I do not expect someone to reciprocate in the same way I do (not everyone has the same financial means, values and morals) however a 'thank you' is universal and is recognition that you appreciated what was given/done to you.
Maybe I shouldn't do nice things anymore for people. I like giving and I like doing nice things but for people to assume I will do these things for all time to come and that they are entitled to these things is sad. It makes me not want to do nice things anymore. I am grateful that I have time and money to do nice things for people, perhaps it's time I focus my gifts on a different set of people and organizations, focus them on people that appreciate them.
Here is one example from the home front. I recently purchased a family member a new cell phone. There were some problems with the ordering and delivery of it, so it took multiple phone calls and trips to the store. I spent 2 extra hours dealing with it and all I got was snappy responses in the car ride to Moscow. No thank you, no expression of gratitude....why? I have always expected my children to write or say thank you's where appropriate. How come with family members it's different? Do they think because they are family a thank you isn't necessary? My time is valuable, I didn't want to make an extra trip to Moscow to resolve the phone issue, but I did. Next time I probably won't. I am not going to let people take advantage of me and abuse my generosity. This is only one example...there are others. I'm frustrated by all this, can you tell? Oh, by the way...it's never to late to say Thank You.
"Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing."
Monday, July 21, 2008
music
I've been listening to music all morning while working and I just love Dar Williams. It's relaxing, feel good music. I think she's probably billed as a folk singer but has some pop style tunes. Closer to Me has to be one of the best songs ever. I am about to get a new iPhone 3G (it's on backorder right now) and since I have more than 16GB of music I will need to make a playlist for my iPhone. Dar Williams, Simon & Garfunkle, James Blunt, Vivaldi and Maroon 5 will make the cut for sure. Perhaps Dixie Chicks and She Daisy too.... It's amazing how music can effect your mood! And right now...Dar Williams has got me in a happy space. :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
my birthday
I had a really nice birthday. Kristin made me a delicious chocolate cake and we had a very nice evening. The gifts they got me were very special. They had picked up various gifts in different cities we had visited on our trip. They were each individually wrapped in Christmas paper. It had been a relaxing day for me, Jake and Kristin each worked as did Jim. We had a very late dinner due to work schedules but it was very, very enjoyable. Grilled hamburgers, chocolate cake, reminiscing about the trip and being surrounded the best people in the entire world...who could ask for more?!?!
I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Betsy, Bri brought over a lovely bouquet of flowers as well. Kathy and Becca made chocolate mousse which we ate outside with real napkins and silverware at starbucks...it was so much fun. I got numerous cards and phone calls from friends. It's nice to know that others remembered and thought enough of me to wish me well on my birthday. I had a great phone conversation with my mom and my sister. The whole day felt like I was wrapped up in a giant blanket of love. I am blessed to be part of a great family and I love everyone in it with all my heart.
I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Betsy, Bri brought over a lovely bouquet of flowers as well. Kathy and Becca made chocolate mousse which we ate outside with real napkins and silverware at starbucks...it was so much fun. I got numerous cards and phone calls from friends. It's nice to know that others remembered and thought enough of me to wish me well on my birthday. I had a great phone conversation with my mom and my sister. The whole day felt like I was wrapped up in a giant blanket of love. I am blessed to be part of a great family and I love everyone in it with all my heart.
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